The day you decide you don’t fit into the old picture anymore
When that day comes, you might feel basically the same as on any other day.
Except you aren’t, something inside is different, and things have shifted for you, forever. You ordered it up, and now it’s here. You’re done with an old picture.
An underlying tone of energy that was inside of you as long as you can remember is suddenly gone. This feels liberating, in a disturbing sort of way.
When you sit still and take the time to listen, you know it’s changed. Your inner soundtrack sounds different to you now.
Something’s freed up, you’re not sure what it is yet, but there’s movement where before there was none. You’re not who and how you used to be, but you’re still you. Perhaps you’re more of who you are here to be.
Even so, this all feels very strange at first, and deeply familiar too. Whatever that shift is and wherever it came from, be assured that you created space for it, because you wanted it.
It’s not that the old picture was so wrong, or that you were wrong to have been how you were before.
It’s that you’ve finished with it. You learned what you needed to learn, and hopefully, are able to be grateful for it. You grew, changed, had fun, experienced pain as well as joy, created what you could, and lived how you did then. There was nothing wrong with any of it. You chose it all, even if you don’t know that or admit it yet.
And now you’re done, you graduated to the next step in your life, to the place you are in now. Except that you’re not sure where that is yet. Plus you feel grief and nostalgia for where you were before. Even if it wasn’t ideal, it was real for a time.
It’s not as real anymore, it’s not present time for you, and it’s time to gather up your energy and move on. It’s time to admit that the old picture helped you stay smaller than you are here to be.
You doubt, and question yourself, are you sure you wanted this?
You do know that you’re done with some things: you’re done with being nice and playing small, along with being well behaved, acquiescent, non-competitive, broke, sensible, not to mention terrifically angry because you’re not getting what you want.
You’ve decided to get rid of all that old junk you’ve been hauling around. You are wearing a sign on your aura: ‘Everything must go’. You’re not sure what, if anything, you’re keeping from before. You just have to let things go and trust that you’re on the right path, and that you’ll make the right choices for you now. Present time!
It’s disturbing for you to change yourself and let go of an unconscious way of being, an old picture. It’s also your job to do this, and your own personal business. Still, others feel like they get a vote here.
Your changes are disturbing them too, and they don’t understand why.
It’s not their fault, and they may not even be conscious of it. You expected that they were just going to sign on and accept the new you, without question. The wise ones will do that, and also validate that you are growing and changing. They will be inspired by your creation and destruction, rather than threatened.
Some people will like that you are diving deeply into yourself and trying to be who you really are. Then there’s everyone else, some of whom will pout, sulk, and take your changes personally. These might be the very people you needed to change yourself away from.
It’s not your problem to solve if they can’t see or understand you now. Let them be where they are, and please, don’t hold yourself back waiting for them to come along. Go.
That old tone that’s gone was like a filter that dulled down your more brilliant true vibration.
You can be seen more truly and clearly now.
Another way to put this is that there is an Old World, and a New World. You’re in the space in between the two, maybe with one foot in each. It’s not a comfortable place to be.
Letting go of what you are done with will help you move fully into your new world, making it easier to have both of your feet on one planet.
‘Agents of Change’ Image ©Kris Cahill